The Ring Two

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The Ring Two
Review (3/10)
(By Brendan Cullin)

In The Ring Two, Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) and her son Aidan (David) have escaped the ghost of a young girl named Samara and have moved to the sleepy coastal town of Astoria. But in Astoria the mysterious video tape that kills anybody who watches it inexplicably reappears and soon, so does Samara. This time she tries to take over the body of Aidan but of course, Rachel will have none of that. In theory, thrills and spills are supposed to ensue. But they do not.

The Ring Two does have its creepy moments but overall, the movie is a collosal mess. It is just poorly written, poorly directed and nothing that I would ever want to see for the rest of my life. Perhaps the only redeeming quality of the movie might be Naomi Watts' ass, which when seen on the big screen, might be one of the best Hollywood asses of all-time. Like I said, the movie does have a small handful of creepy moments but it has more moments that will leave you shaking your head than not. For example, seeing Rachel sneak into an ambulance surrounded by police to look at a dead body and no one notices? Or how about the dead nurse and a young boy casually walking out of the hospital in the middle of the day and the police for some reason never pick him up even though he heads home and is there for hours? More dead bodies and no police turn up. Or again, Rachel walking into a high security psych ward and being able to speak to a patient whose name she does not even know? And then there's the whole flock of caribou or whatever they are just staring at Rachel and her son. Oooo, scary. I've had a caribou stare at me before and I was probably more frightened then Rachel and Aiden looked. And of course, they walk away from everything unscathed. Or how about Rachel destroying the haunting tape and yet Samara continues to terrorize her and her son. Perhaps we are not aware that Samara is now available on DVD. We are never quite sure.

It is all really amateurish and quite disappointing. I even noticed a few scenes where Rachel's shoes changed from one pair to another, yet she never went home and never changed her clothes or her shoes. I don't even think the movie does a good job of explaining what the hell is going on. I'll be honest with you, I saw the first movie (and liked it) but I couldn't really remember all the particulars of the story. I would have appreciated some sort of recap. And yes, about 3/4 of the way through the movie there is a rather weak explanation - but it was all too little to late. Much like the few feeble scares that come towards the end of the movie - too little and way too late.

If you are fan of The Ring or Ringu, stay away from this movie. If you are a fan of horror, don't even bother. And if you are a fan of Naomi Watts, well, I suppose it might be worth a matinee. Other than that, I wouldn't waste my time with The Ring Two. Go to your local zoo and have a gorilla stare at you or something like that. You will probably be more scared than you would be after watching this movie.

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