Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

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Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
Review (3/10)
(By Brendan Cullin)

After seeing Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, I have come to the conclusion that people in Hollywood should lose their jobs, beginning with everyone involved with this movie. And I mean everyone. When the movie ends, we are left to wonder "why?". Why was this movie made? I suppose 2000's Miss Congeniality was a box office hit and it is the perfect type of movie for a cheesy sequel. But to be this bad? In the five years since the original movie, this is all they could come up with? You assume that people who dedicate their lives to making movies could do better than the poop know as Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous.

In this chapter of the life of Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock), we find the beautiful FBI agent unable to work undercover because she is too famous from her adventures in the original movie. So Gracie undergoes a physical and character transformation and becomes "the face of the FBI". During the transformation, Gracie goes from the snorting, down-to-earth Brooklyn tomboy to a stuck up biotch. And then she heads out on a book tour with the bitter Sam Fuller (Regina King) as her bodyguard. Eventually the two women and a gay assistant end up in Las Vegas where a sinister plot has been hatched to kidnap Miss USA (Heather Burns) and the pageant's promoter Stan Fields (William Shatner). The Las Vegas branch of the FBI is unable to crack the case so Gracie, Sam, the gay guy and a third FBI agent (Enrique Murciano) set out to save the day.

That is the basic premise of Miss Congeniality 2. I fear that despite what I say about this movie, it is bound to be a hit, based on the snorting laughter of the rather odd woman who sat next to me during the movie. She was also yelling at the screen, "This movie is awesome!". But it is not awesome. Nor is it "fabulous" as the title suggests. The story is lame. There are almost no laughs in the movie. Bullock's Brooklyn accent fades in and out throughout the movie. The kidnapping plot is lame. The kidnappers are lame. Grace Hart is a biotch for three-quarters of the movie. Sam Fuller is too short. Bullock as an old lady ain't funny. Bullock as a drag queen ain't funny. Regis Philbin getting kicked in the nuts ain't funny. Bullock driving around with her feathered hat sticking out of the sun roof of the car is ridiculous (would it have not made more sense to take the damn hat off?). I could go on but I think you get the point. Armed and Fabulous is tedious and dreadful and that's on a good day.

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