The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Review (4/10)
(By Brendan Cullin)

A group of men (and one woman) with extraordinary powers are assembled in England. The group is led by Allan Quatermain (Sean Connery), an expert sharpshooter and fearless adventurer, and includes Captain Nemo, a vampiress, an invisible man, an American secret service agent, the immortal Dorian Gray and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Their mission? To stop the evil Fantom from destroying the world.

The minute Sean Connery appeared on the screen, I was expecting The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen to get going. I was expecting it to become, well, extraordinary. I've always liked Connery. He is so eloquent, elegant, delicate and all that sort of stuff. Sure, he puts out a stinker every once in a while (The Avengers!), but overall, he is fairly reliable at the old box office. Hell, if I were a female between the ages of 25 and 85, I would definitely bare my loins to Mr. Connery. The problem with this movie is once Connery appeared on the screen, sitting in his chair in a bar in Africa, the movie may have picked up for a few minutes, but it just stalled after that. It just never really got going. There were times it looked good and it sounded good but it never felt good. Everything that should have been extraordinary - the characters, the action, the story, the bad guys, the good guys, hell, even Connery himself - they were all very ordinary. Too ordinary for my liking. As individuals, the characters work, but as a group of Extraordinary Gentlemen (and one woman) they just didn't seem to get the job done. Right now wrestling is on television (no, I don't watch wrestling, I'm just too occupied to change the channel), and there is some one-legged guy hopping around the ring wrestling The Big Show and beating him and that is more engaging than the story from The League. And damn funny to watch. A bad ass trying to destroy the world - I've seen this too many times in this lifetime. Even the bad ass never really got going. He should have been a badder bad ass then he came across to be, if that makes any sense.

Maybe we've been spoiled this summer with too many action-packed movies - X2, Pirates of the Caribbean, 2 Fast 2 Furious, The Hulk, T3 and so on - that a movie that was slightly slow-moving and slightly cerebral is just too drastic a change of pace. How, you may ask, do I know this movie is cerebral? Well, I saw it in a theatre full of critics and some of them were laughing at parts of the movie I just didn't get. They were over my head. Yes, I am saying I am a dummy. And no, I don't think they were laughing at the movie. They were, in fact, laughing with it. I laughed out loud, just to fit in with the ultra-cool crowd of professional critics. But by the time the credits rolled, I was still laughing in my mind. But this time, not with the movie.

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