Into the Blue

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Into the Blue
Review (7/10)
(By Brendan Cullin)

Into the Blue stars Paul Walker's abs and Jessica Alba's ass as a happy couple with no money. Jared (Walker) has just lost his job as a diving instructor but despite the fact that he lives in a beat-up old shack with a rundown old boat and no money, his girlfriend Sam (Alba) and her great ass, stick by his side. Jared's longtime friend Bryce (Scott Caan) and his newfound girlfriend Amanda (Ashley Scott) show up in the Bahamas to visit the piss-poor couple. Bryce is a greedy lawyer and apparently has money, so they manage to get their hands on a marvelous boat to cruise around the ocean and do a bit of diving. Jared comes across some ancient artifacts on the ocean floor but makes other discoveries that end up being a lot more trouble than they're worth. Of course it doesn't help that Bryce and Amanda are both fucking idiots. For fear of giving away too much from this movie, a discovery is made, bad guys arrive, sharks get hungry and all hell breaks loose.

Although Into the Blue looks and sounds like your basic "good guys find treasure and bad guys show up to take it away" movie, the story is actually a bit more deep and complicated than that, if you can believe it. I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised by Into the Blue. It wasn't nearly the piece of shit that I thought it could be. In fact, I would go even so far as to say I was actually entertained. It doesn't hurt that Jessica Alba's ass was falling out of her bikini almost the entire movie and what a great ass it is.

But back to the movie, Into the Blue is a decent action flick. I liked the story. I liked most of the acting. Scott Caan and Josh Brolin (who plays a full-time treasure hunter and part-time prick) were pretty much the highlights. Caan's character was just a complete tool in this movie. Sadly, I know far too many people like him. Hell, even Walker wasn't all that bad in the acting department, at least as he possibly can be. To tell you the truth, Alba wasn't in the movie a whole hell of a lot but the presence of her ass more than made up for that.

Before anyone thinks that I am personally nominating Into the Blue for Movie of the Year or something like that I want to make it clear that this movie is nothing more than a good popcorn flick. In fact, the more I think about it, the more preposterous I realize the story is. But with that being said, I liked the fact that the story had a few interesting twists and turns, it took a few commendable risks with the minor and major characters, it had some decent action scenes, some interesting characters and some great ocean scenery. I didn't like the fact that the movie teases us with nudity but never really closes the deal. Very disappointing. Nevertheless, if you are able to suspend all reality and any belief, Into the Blue is fun. And with that being said, I would like to officially nominate Jessica Alba's backside for Ass of the Year.

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