The Girl Next Door

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The Girl Next Door
Review (7/10)
(By Brendan Cullin)

Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch) is what many people would consider a high school geek - he is the president of the graduating class, he is on course to get a lucrative scholarship to Georgetown University, he doesn't skip class, he raises money for an unfortunate Cambodian teenager. He has pretty much coasted through high school in relative obscurity and his life is about to change.

A beautiful young girl named Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert) has moved in next door and when she catches Matthew spying on her as she stands in her bedroom window half-naked, she takes it upon herself to introduce herself to the young voyeur and try to break him out of his social shell. Matthew and Danielle become somewhat romantically involved but his fairy tale love affair comes crashing down when his sex-obsessed friend Eli (Chris Marquette) discovers that Danielle's shady past included her starring in pornographic movies. The rest of the movie deals with Matthew's struggles to deal with Danielle and her doubts about leaving "the industry" and with the return her slimy ex-boyfriend/producer Kelly (Timothy Olyphant), who would prefer seeing Danielle with five sets of balls dangling in her face rather than hanging out with some kid who barely has pubes.

I saw The Girl Next Door about a month ago and clearly remember being pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. It has a decent story. It has a kick-ass soundtrack. It is funny. It has Elisha Cuthbert. There is nudity. Timothy Olyphant is excellent. And I would bet my left nut that one of the geeks from Average Joe Hawaii has a cameo appearance as a geek in the movie, but I am not quite sure about that. There is not much to not like about the entire movie. It is not going to knock The Breakfast Club off the list of the greatest teen comedies of all-time, but it is definitely a movie that is worth checking out. And for anyone who is worrying about Elisha being anything close to the annoying Kim Bauer character she plays on the television show 24, you need not worry. Cuthbert is quite good playing the young porn star and although we aren't lucky enough to see so much as a nipple from her, she still looks smoking hot in the movie. I'm not quite sure that I fell for a chick looking that good and being that loose falling for a baby-faced high school geek like Matthew Kidman, but I suppose we could all dream that this could happen. Although the entire cast was quite decent, I really found Olyphant stood out as the porn industry slimeball. He just has one of those cocksure smiles that makes you want to take a baseball bat to his pearly whites and knock them down the back of his throat.

Nevertheless, if you are in the mood for a nice quickie this weekend, I would recommend checking out The Girl Next Door. It is not a perfect movie, by no means. But it is one of those movies that doesn't require a lot of brainpower to enjoy and after seeing it, you should walk out of the theatre singing a few tunes, laughing at a few of the jokes and reminiscing about your high school days when you wished you could have had a porn star move in the house next to you and end up falling in love with you.

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