Whiteout

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Whiteout

Review (6.5/10)
(By Brendan Cullin)

Whiteout begins in 1957 with a shootout aboard a Russian cargo plane somewhere over Antarctica. The plane ends up crashing and then we jump ahead to the 21st century where U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale), also stationed in Antarctica, is only days away from returning to civilization after two years of being assigned to this remote location. Early in the movie Stetko jumps in the shower and unfortunately has one of the steamiest showers in the history of water. The steam manages to place itself oh-so-strategically just so it covers the parts of the body that every warm-blooded straight man in the world would love to see. Nevertheless, Carrie has her shower, chats with her friend Dr. John Fury (Tom Skerritt and the former “Evan Drake” from Cheers) and then is informed that there’s a dead body lying in the snow not too far from the research station where she is located. Upon closer examination, it is discovered that the body used to belong to a living geologist who was working in Antarctica. The ensuing investigation reveals there are secrets that were buried beneath the thick ice more than 50 years earlier with the plane crash and someone is willing to kill to uncover those secrets. That someone should also never use an ice pick the rest of his or her life because they have the worst aim ever. Carrie Stetko has only three days to solve the murder and uncover the secrets before the Antarctic is blanketed by a deadly whiteout and six months of winter.

I’ve heard some grumblings about Whiteout not being the movie it was promoted to be – that some people thought it was going to be some kind of monster or supernatural flick. To me, it was exactly the movie I was expecting. I never got any indication that it was going to be anything else other than a murder/mystery/thriller and that’s exactly what it is with the exception that there is a bit more blood and guts than we would normally see in this type of film.

The movie starts out with lots of promise – Kate Beckinsale in the shower. I was really hoping that she would spend the remainder of the movie running from shower to shower around the whole Antarctic but sadly, she ends up chasing and/or running from a killer who probably couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a baseball. I mean, this guy has the worst aim ever in the history of movies. He chases Stetko with a pick axe from time to time but the only thing he manages to hit is the wall, an already dead body or snowflakes.

Nevertheless, Whiteout turned out to be an okay movie. The story is decent, although not too complicated and almost too predictable. The characters are respectable but no one is extremely intriguing or particularly stands out. For the fans of gore, there are a few scenes that will be sure to tickle your fancy.

Overall, Whiteout is a sufficient thriller. It’s got probably the hottest U.S. Marshal ever stationed in the middle of nowhere, which, let’s face it, would never happen. Every male living there also looks like he could be on the cover of GQ, which is also pretty unrealistic. I’ve been to Alaska and every guy I saw there looked like Grizzly Adams. I would think in Antarctica it would be pretty close to the same. So there’s some unrealism but the movie still manages to have its exciting moments. As I said earlier, the story is fairly transparent and not too difficult to figure out. Whiteout is a movie that is passable but won’t leave a lasting impression

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