Austin Powers in Goldmember

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Austin Powers in Goldmember
Review (6/10)
(By Blair Barbesin)

Groovy, baby! Austin is back, and in full psychadelia! With the third installment of the Austin Powers franchise, Mike Myers is returning to his most famous character and once again is having a shagadelic time.

However, he's in the wrong time! Seriously. Austin is a 60's swinger - a flower child - love and peace. To see him going to the 70's in his pimp-mobile and dressed as a very un-groovy pimp-daddy to Beyonce Knowles's Foxy Cleopatra was a poor sight to see.

I guess we did Austin in the present and we did Austin in the 60's, so let's take him to the 70's? It just didn't quite work. Hell, it would have been funnier if he went to the 80's. Not only did Austin seem out of place, but he never quite clicked with Foxy Cleopatra the way he did with his co-stars in the first two movies (Elizabeth Hurley and Heather Graham). Even the kiss between the two seemed fake and forced. We never got the feeling that Austin wanted to "hop on one foot and do the bad thing" with Foxy. We never even really saw them in bed! Even Roger Moore took the hammer out to nail Grace Jones! There was no real shag! Only implied shag. This movie isn't Jungle Fever. It's 2002. People accept these things. All talk and no shagtion err.. action.

Foxy herself wasn't too bad. She couldn't make the chemistry work with Austin either. Personally, Pam Grier would have been perfect for this role. She is still good looking and able to deliver. Watch her in Jackie Brown and especially in Foxy Brown and you'll get a taste of how good she could have been in a role essentially spoofing herself.

The time travel bit got old, and fast. It worked well in the second film and it should have stayed there. To be quite honest, many of the bits seen in the film were just re-hashed from the previous films. The Mini-Me fight, the shadow curtain, the "Johnson" rocket joke and so on. They were still funny, but I wanted something fresh and new from this one. The new "mole" joke, got real tired real soon.

Some of the bits did work. I was laughing hysterically at most of the comedy sketches. Just not the movie as a whole. This movie was a series of sketches banded together by a very loose but forgivable plot - if we got the payoff. Sadly we didn't. The story in this movie was lost between the comedy sketches and the musical numbers. Plus, the whole "making a movie while watching a movie while being in a movie" became pretty confusing and a little unnecessary. However, it did provide some great cameo's of stars in familiar Austin roles. The flash back sequences were not funny, and not necessary to any character. As the did before, they should have had Frau Farbissina look exactly the same further in the past - that would have been a funny re-occurring joke, but sadly, no.

The newest character is Goldmember, an owner of a 70's disco club called Studio 69. I still don't know what the real point of having him in the movie was. This was one of the lamest evil characters that Myers could have come up with. The idea of spoofing Goldfinger was brilliant, but there was no real spoof. Goldmember is a roller-skating contortionist who eats his own flaking skin and has a gold penis. For a guy who loves gold, it would have been great and funny to see Austin catch him on a toilet made of gold, beat him up and try the toilet out. (In a great line from the last movie, Austin said he wanted a gold crapper.) But no. He is a character that is quickly forgotten. Perhaps the one nice touch was when Goldfinger put Austin's dad on a smelting line while gold was slowly pouring toward his groin. The scene reminded me of Goldfinger, when he had Bond trapped with the giant laser.

Michael Caine was perfect as Austin's dad. I wish there was more of him and that he would have been given a larger role. His character was sadly underused and underdeveloped. He could have been the best character since Austin himself. Sadly, he was misused, and became the clich? dad who was never there for his kid.

Somehow, it just seemed that this edition of Austin Powers was more interested in the quick laugh, and not too interested in the big picture. It lacked many of the elements that made the fist two Austin movies classics.

Keyword : Eli, Jacki, Hop, Michael Caine, Rio, Heather Graham, Pam Grier, Elizabeth Hurley, Action, Comedy, Musical, Music, You, Mike Myers, Beyonce Knowles, Dev, Beat, Ant, Click, EMI, Ex, Flow, Giant, Good, Here, Liar, Look, Love, Numb, Once, Out, Race, Red, Return, Saw, Shadow, Special, Stay, Take, The Flash, The Hammer, The One, Up, Wanted, War, FILM, Fresh, Bi, Eric, Now, Ron, Baby, Frau, Tere, Tia


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